confessions of a working mom

Does anyone else with children work full-time? It STINKS doesn't it! Being a working Mom is definitely one of the most challenging things I've ever done. My days begin at 6:25am and I usually go until 11:00pm NON-STOP! I usually can't make it through an entire week at work without at least one tear when I think of Gage and everything I am missing with him.

So its not the long days that stress me- its the long days I have without Gage. My heart aches every time I walk out the door leaving that smiling and laughing baby boy behind. I never in a million years thought that I would want to be a stay home Mom but I would give almost anything to stay with my little guy everyday.

I just feel like I am missing so much being away from him. I'm usually not there when he wakes up for the day. I don't get to feed him his breakfast or lunch. We don't get to play during the day nor do I get to nap with that sweet little angel. I get hourly updates via text message from my Gram who is with him everyday- I truly appreciate hearing how he is doing but its just not the same. I missed seeing him clap his hands for the first time. I miss hearing him laugh at our dogs or the silly faces my Gramps makes at him. I don't get to see him playing with his new toys or watching the snow fall for the very first time. I don't get to take him on long walks outside on beautiful days and I don't get to hold him and rock him to sleep for naps. I'm missing it all.

I'm so afraid I'm going to miss the first time he crawls, pulls himself up, or says his first real word. I know I'm not going to be the first to notice his teeth when they finally push through. I value my time in the evenings with him and on the weekends. I feel like I don't have a life because I don't want to do anything but spend my free time with him! I feel so guilty if I leave him for any reason in the evening or weekends! I'm trying to deal with my guilt but its hard.

I'm going to school to finish my bachelor's degree in Elementary Education. I will finish classes in the fall of 2011 and begin my student teaching. I can't wait for graduation to get here! I have always wanted to be a teacher but the thought of Christmas and Spring breaks and 9 weeks off during the summer have never sounded better! I guess I can find one good thing about leaving him right now- he is too small to really miss getting to do too many things with me. He still isn't walking or talking. He is still too small to understand a museum or zoo. I know I will get to do these things with him.

I have to say that I am sooooo lucky to have some AMAZING Grandparents that take care of Gage for me. They come to our house everyday at 7:00am and stay with him until 4:30 when I'm finally home. My Gram is so awesome- she helps with the laundry, dishes, house cleaning... the list goes on and on. I couldn't make it without her or my Gramps. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

Working stinks, but I'm doing it for Gage. Everything I do is for him. I'm thankful for my family and wonderful friends who remind me everyday that I am a good Mom and that everything I'm doing is for Gage.

*pic is from my first day back at work- I was so happy to get home and see my little man!

black dog designs

So, a few months ago I had this wild hair to create a bracelet made out of Scrabble tiles... My supportive husband and awesome Mom were on board with the idea and helped me create my first one-of-a-kind bracelet! 100 bracelets later, I'm happy with the progress my small "business" is making.

Have you checked out my shop on etsy? How can you not LOVE etsy?!? Homemade and vintage items- YES PLEASE! I have been in contact with so many wonderful women (and men!) who create these beautiful works of art right from their very home. I was beyond thrilled when I recieved a message asking if I would be interested in being featured on a Valentine's Day gift guide! I have been working on a write-up about my little endeavour and an extra special sweet bracelet to give away!

I never thought that my bracelets would take off as they have! Next month, I am participating in Wine About Winter in Winchester. I have been looking forward to it since the day I found out about it! My mom will be coming in to help me with my first "show" :o)

I hope that everyone is able to come out and check out all of the AMAZING crafters that will be there! My personal favorites are iheartsmiles and Pink Checkers Designs! Have you seen what these two ladies can do?!

If you haven't checked out my shop on etsy, here is the link!

www.etsy.com/shop/meliwright22

Make sure you check out my favorites as well!

www.etsy.com/shop/iheartsmiles

www.etsy.com/pinkcheckersdesign

Want one of my awesome bracelets?? Let me know and I'll create a personalized bracelet just for you!!

happy birthday matt!

So today is my little brother's 21st birthday! 21!?! I can't believe it! Where has the time gone? What has happened to that little guy I used to wrestle to the ground? The little guy that I would wake up at 3am and drag into my bed when I was afraid of thunderstorms. TIME FLIES.

I've been thinking all day about what I would say about my "little" brother and have come to the realization that he is little no more. I don't call him my "little" brother in reference to his size, I just call him that because that is what he has always been to me.

My Mom likes to tell the story of when Matt was born. She said I didn't want a brother and I asked to send him back! My request was denied and I was stuck with a brother- oh the horror! To be honest, that was probably the worst thing I could have ever asked for- sending Matt back! Matt and I have certainly had our differences over the years. We fought out in the front yard with our bicycles. We called each other names and yelled as loud as we could. We have even gone days without speaking. The truth is I couldn't imagine a single day without him. I should have stated in my first post that I had 4 best friends, not just 3. Matt is truly a best friend to me. I can tell him anything, depend on him, and trust him with my life.

So with today's post being all about Matt I must say again that my "little" brother is no longer little. I don't know when it happened, I can't pick a day when I looked at him and saw the change but I know that it happened a long time ago and there is no need for me to pretend like it never happened. He has grown up before my eyes and has turned into an amazing person. I am so thankful to have him in my life and I hope that our friendship continues to grow as it has for so long.

In closing, I would like to point out that I am not a bad speller! I am actually quite picky about proper grammar and am ashamed that I used "weather" rather than "wheather" in my first post. Thank you, Liz, for pointing that out :o). From here on out I will use the spell check provided by the wonderful people of blogger.com and will consult my husband for proper grammar before submitting my final piece. Thanks y'all for reading!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT! I LOVE YOU!

my first post!

So, I'm brand new to this whole "blog" thing! I have thought for a while about weather or not I should blog and what exactly I would blog about! I decided to just do it- so here I am!

I have decided to dedicate my first "blog" to my dearest and newest old friend. Dearest? Newest? Old friend? I know, right? What exactly is a friend? I did a search for the perfect answer and according to dictionary.com, a friend is a person connected to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Ok, but what is a good friend? I have pondered this question for many, many years. I have found an answer that makes sense to me and my answer is an old friend who I knew while I was in high school but never took the chance to really get to know.

I have 3 best friends. My husband Jeremy, my Mom, and my Grandma. I trust those three with my life. I have friends too. Many of them are people I work with and girls I know from high school. Family members. Childhood friends. People I've met in college or at previous jobs and friends I've met though my husband. I'm a lucky gal. I have a huge group of friends- but who is my good friend? I think many people think that friends are the people you call on a regular basis or spend a lot of time with. I agree, but sometimes a good friend is someone you rarely see or rarely spend time with.

On May 26, 2009 at 5:21 pm I was given the greatest gift I could ever receive; my son Gage Alexander was born. I felt a love like I had never felt in my entire life. I was whole; I had found my purpose, and I had this brand new baby boy that I knew NOTHING about! The first few days passed easily. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and finally, I had reached my breaking point and did not know what to do with GAGE. I felt completely lost. I couldn't make him stop crying. I couldn't make him laugh. He wouldn't sleep. He wouldn't eat. I couldn't change him without a mess. I couldn't even make a trip to the grocery store without him screaming at the top of his lungs making me feel like the worst mother ever! My laundry piled up, my house was a mess and I felt like I hardly knew my husband let alone myself.

I called my Mom and sobbed to her for hours. She tried her best to offer advice and support but what she was saying was not making any sense to me at all. When I felt like it couldn't get any better and my life would forever be this way I received another great gift- a message from my old friend Desiree.

We had reconnected though facebook the year before and had already spent a lot of time about becoming a Mommy. One day, she sent me a message asking me how I was and how Gage was doing. She offered some MUCH needed advice. She made me realize that maybe I wasn't a terrible mother after all- she had been right where I was and knew just what to say to help me get through this rough patch with Gage. I never expected what I got from Desiree; we don't speak outside of facebook and I think I have only seen her once or twice in the last year. But she was there for me, in my darkest hour, when I felt like I had no one to turn to. Her supportive and kind words are something I will never forget. She is my good old friend.

Ok, so I think this thing is getting a little long and maybe a little deep, but these are my thoughts and feelings and isn't that what blogging is? I'm looking forward to doing this "blog" thing- writing this has surprisingly come easily to me!