my first post!

So, I'm brand new to this whole "blog" thing! I have thought for a while about weather or not I should blog and what exactly I would blog about! I decided to just do it- so here I am!

I have decided to dedicate my first "blog" to my dearest and newest old friend. Dearest? Newest? Old friend? I know, right? What exactly is a friend? I did a search for the perfect answer and according to dictionary.com, a friend is a person connected to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Ok, but what is a good friend? I have pondered this question for many, many years. I have found an answer that makes sense to me and my answer is an old friend who I knew while I was in high school but never took the chance to really get to know.

I have 3 best friends. My husband Jeremy, my Mom, and my Grandma. I trust those three with my life. I have friends too. Many of them are people I work with and girls I know from high school. Family members. Childhood friends. People I've met in college or at previous jobs and friends I've met though my husband. I'm a lucky gal. I have a huge group of friends- but who is my good friend? I think many people think that friends are the people you call on a regular basis or spend a lot of time with. I agree, but sometimes a good friend is someone you rarely see or rarely spend time with.

On May 26, 2009 at 5:21 pm I was given the greatest gift I could ever receive; my son Gage Alexander was born. I felt a love like I had never felt in my entire life. I was whole; I had found my purpose, and I had this brand new baby boy that I knew NOTHING about! The first few days passed easily. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and finally, I had reached my breaking point and did not know what to do with GAGE. I felt completely lost. I couldn't make him stop crying. I couldn't make him laugh. He wouldn't sleep. He wouldn't eat. I couldn't change him without a mess. I couldn't even make a trip to the grocery store without him screaming at the top of his lungs making me feel like the worst mother ever! My laundry piled up, my house was a mess and I felt like I hardly knew my husband let alone myself.

I called my Mom and sobbed to her for hours. She tried her best to offer advice and support but what she was saying was not making any sense to me at all. When I felt like it couldn't get any better and my life would forever be this way I received another great gift- a message from my old friend Desiree.

We had reconnected though facebook the year before and had already spent a lot of time about becoming a Mommy. One day, she sent me a message asking me how I was and how Gage was doing. She offered some MUCH needed advice. She made me realize that maybe I wasn't a terrible mother after all- she had been right where I was and knew just what to say to help me get through this rough patch with Gage. I never expected what I got from Desiree; we don't speak outside of facebook and I think I have only seen her once or twice in the last year. But she was there for me, in my darkest hour, when I felt like I had no one to turn to. Her supportive and kind words are something I will never forget. She is my good old friend.

Ok, so I think this thing is getting a little long and maybe a little deep, but these are my thoughts and feelings and isn't that what blogging is? I'm looking forward to doing this "blog" thing- writing this has surprisingly come easily to me!